Where in the World is Cat?

Here's what I came up with:

Putin: "George, I've waited for this moment since we first met. When you looked into my eyes, you not only saw my soul, you touched it."

Bush: "Aw, c'mon now Vladimir. You know I've always liked that rugged side of you. You almost threw me for a loop with that Kabaeva stunt. I nearly called of this little rendezvous."

Putin: "Ah, my silly golubchik(that's sweet little dove in Russian), that was to distract the media and get them to back off. I was afraid they would catch on to the real meaning of all of our vacations and summits. Our silly aides haven't been able to scrape anything together in 8 years, people might have started to talk."

Bush: "Gee Vlad, good move. You always were the smarter of us two. Just think, by the year's end, we'll both be able to step out of the limelight. Then, it'll be just us, in a banya somewhere..."

So, as you all know, I'm ready to return to the States. I've got a little over two months left in Moscow, and though at times I am sad that my time here is winding down, I will be oh-so-happy to be back in the good ol' US of A.


So, once again Moscow had taken me for all I'm worth. The one thing, material as it was, that had consistently brought me happiness and comfort for the last two months, has been taken from me. This is what living in Moscow is like. Don't treasure anything, because it will be taken from you.





Live and learn, that's what I keep telling myself. And as much as I want to run out and buy the same exact phone, tell myself I'm worth it and that I'll be better about protecting it, I won't. I'll go home and charge the annoying little Nokia that I'd been waiting to sell. Now I'll have to find something else to cherish and fantasize about until I leave in June.

All I can think about now is that I'm leaving the country for a long break in 8 days. I cannot wait. I need a break desperately.

Just when you thought Russia couldn't get any crazier...


Talk about giving yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.


Newspapers in Germany, Italy, India, Russia and the UK are publishing that Putin and Kabaeva are planning a June 15th wedding in his hometown of St.Petersburg, in the suburb of Strelna.

At the think tank where I work here in Moscow, we often have many meetings and events occurring simultaneously. This includes interviews with our resident experts. If space is really tight, sometime crews will come up to the library (where my "office" is located) to shoot one-on-one interviews.

Today a crew came up with the whole shebang - two cameras, lights, microphones, hanging mics. They were interviewing an expert on U.S.-Russia relations. They asked questions about Putin and Bush, the U.S. Presidential elections and the future for our two countries. After the 30 minute interview, the expert ran off to his next meeting and left the crew to pack up.

I, during all of this, listened intently - as I usually do - interested to hear what questions are asked (some are so silly that they answer themselves) and then hear what opinions are experts will answer with. Considering the topic of the interview, my interest was peaked.

Noticing that I was reading English, the woman reporter asked me if I was from America. I said yes. She looked at her co-worker, standing nearby. Both exchanged glances.

Two minutes later I was in the hot seat, microphone clipped to my shirt and a bright light shining in my face. Typical questions were asked: What do Americans think of Russia? What wrong impressions do Russians have of Americans? I unfortunately gave dreadfully general and simple answers, only because I couldn't figure out the grammar to express the more complex ideas whirling in my head. I think I was more disappointed than they were with the lackluster answers I provided, much less my grammar. (I've been here for two years! I can do better.) I wished they could have asked me about the elections or democracy - that I could have answered like a pro!

After the quick interview, I learned that the group was from Orinberg, a small city in the Urals. Whew. No one's gonna watch it anyways. Good to practice for the future though.....

I'm the kinda of person that plans ahead. You all know that. So, imagine my surprise when today, my lunch (half of a pepperoni pizza from Friday's visit to Il Patio) disappeared from our office refrigerator! I had been relishing the thought of enjoying that pizza all weekend! (It's hard to find good pizza in Moscow). I thought such acts of disrespect only happened in American offices!

Apparently, a bad case of the munchies overcome people's better judgement in Russia as well.

Needless to say, my lunches will be marked with a Post-it from now on...

Yesterday was another beautiful day in Moscow. I took the day off from my internship to work on my thesis, and to run a few errands at the institute.

I usually wake up early and have to wait for my bus to come to bring me to the metro, fight the masses of people in the metro, and then make it to work in the center of the city within a hour, an hour and a half on a bad day if there's traffic. So, yesterday, I enjoyed a relaxed morning and relished in the fact I wouldn't have to fight anyone in the metro.

I breezed through the usual bureaucracy at my university, and though it ended up taking me the whole day, I went home with everything I needed (exam dates, thesis deadlines, graduation date - my institute has a don't ask, don't tell policy. You don't ask, they'll never tell you what you have to do or when.) I even received comments that I looked refreshed, got compliments on my new haircut, and enjoyed some small talk with a few acquaintances that I hadn't seen in a while.

I stopped into the Office for International Students to ask one of the assistant directors a quick question. This particular woman met me on my first day at my university, when I was wide-eyed, nervous and completely lost. A surprisingly pleasant conversation ensued, during which she remarked to me, "Katya, you look so changed. You look wonderful. Kazhetsa, Rossia tebye idyot." It seems, that Russia suits you.

When this phrase is used, it is usually used to describe the way a piece of clothing or haircut compliments a person. "Eta maika tebye idyot." That shirt looks good on you.

Russia suits me?

That phrase has been swirling in my head since then. At first, I took it as a compliment. I left the institute walking on air, proud that I was able to get through a day of bureaucracy without fights or squabbles, that everyone in the institute understood me, respected me, was even kind to me. I was proud to have gotten to that point after two years of struggles and fights (both with others and myself), wins and losses. Proud that I had learned not only how to survive, but thrive in Russia.

Then, almost as quickly as I had obtained this nirvana-like state, it all crumbled. I came home to a message conveying more complications with my American diploma equivalency (without this, I can't get my Russian diploma) and issues with some membership cancellations that might pose a risk to my credit. In dealing with these headaches, all the bad memories started to flood back - hours and hours wasted studying and toiling for non-existent tests or waiting in line just to ask a professor a question, only having access to a laundromat once-a month, getting sick repeatedly, being treated poorly or taken advantage of by Russian acquaintances, a broken engagement....and I thought....Russia suits me?

I've said it many times, Russia is a complicated place. Everything about it is complex...its history, culture, politics, people, way of life.....it all seriously challenges a person, and will continually put you in the position of questioning just who you are. There are very few societal norms here, the country is lost in a transition between old and new, traditional and modern, and therefore, you must decide for yourself just how you will act. You are just as likely to get berrated for doing something you think is right as you are to be encouraged to do something you think is wrong, and vice versa. So, the question you must ask yourself when you are living in today's Russia is, if you allow yourself to be encouraged to so something not necessarily right, what will that be, and if you're going to get in trouble, what would you be willing to get in trouble for?

In short, who are you, and what do you stand for?

There may be new cars crowding the streets and Dolce and Gabbana on all the girls in Moscow, but Russia as a whole is a wild West of morality, waiting to be pioneered.

So, yea, in a way, Russia suits me. Living in Moscow has helped me gain a better sense of myself. I now value certain aspects of my life more than I did before moving here (such as my own health and my family), and take other aspects less seriously (such as meeting other's expectations, or, just what "doing the right thing" means). I also am a heck of a lot more comfortable in my own skin. But I also know now that I'm an American, and no amount of Russification or living abroad will change that, and it's time for me to return home for a bit.

Russia suits me. But only in the way that a special shirt or tie you wear once and a while when the mood strikes; In a way that allows you to make a statement of who you are.

It's mid-April, and things in Moscow are blooming. The sun has been out at least half the week (a miracle for Russia), temperatures are warming up and more and more people can be seen walking leisurely on the streets. I leave Moscow in two and a half months, and with the city showing her other half, I was starting to regret leaving so soon.

Then I was reminded what the people here can be like year-round.

After a day at my internship and a couple hours of sitting at my desk working on my thesis, I needed a break. So I decided to run to the university gym, which, according to their schedule, is open to 11pm. I usually go late, I'm a procrastinator, it's my style to give myself just enough time before the gym closes.

So imagine my surprise, when at 10:35pm, in the middle of my third kilometer, the lights in the gym are suddenly shut off. Yes, I am the only one in the gym, but it's only 10:35pm. The gym is still open another 25 minutes. I defiantly finish my third kilometer, grumble under my breath because I wanted to run at least five, and take ten minutes to stretch. While I'm stretching, I notice the trainer poke his head in the gym four or five times to see if I'm gone. I'm downstairs by 10:45pm, giving my locker key in, and ask the receptionist:

"Excuse me, do you have a new trainer upstairs in the sports room?"

The receptionist smiles, and answers, "I don't know, I'm new myself."

Not wanting to give this girl a bad day at the beginning of a new job, I ask politely, "Well, is it possible to speak to one of your managers then?"

The rest goes as follows:

Receptionist: "Why?"
Me: "Because I would like to discuss something with her." (I know the manager, she is very nice.)
Receptionist: "Is there something wrong?"
Me: "Yes. I was on a treadmill upstairs, and the trainer shut the gym and turned off the lights while I was still running. He didn't even warn me."
Receptionist: (Looking at the clock) "Well, it is 10:45."
Me: "Yes, but you close at 11pm."
Receptionist: (The typical Russian "so what?" stare.) Silence.
Me: "You think it is polite to shut off the lights in a room when someone is running on a treadmill? Wouldn't you at least warn the person?"
Receptionist: (Typical Russian shoulder shrug and blank stare.)
Me: "Well, it's not. If you would please, let your manager know of the incident. I'll be sure to remind her myself." (I don't know why I said this, it will make no difference anyway.)
Receptionist: "Fine." (Also knowing it won't make a difference.)

So much for the endorphine high after a good workout.

I don't care how beautiful or fun Moscow is. This is not a place for sane people to live!